I’m just going to go ahead and say it…my kids are geniuses. Everybody thinks their kids are…but I’m positive about it. Trouble is, genius comes in many forms, and it appears that we’ve ended up with the diabolical kind.
I can’t even fault them, because 9 times out of 10, it works. If I had a schtick that worked 90% of the time, I’d use it too. That’s just good common sense.
Last week, I was bringing the boy home from baseball when I got a text from the oldest asking if I could pick her up. It was over 90 degrees and so I went and found her, meandering along a dirt road toward home. (She had just spent the morning babysitting for a teething 7 month old…pretty sure ‘meander’ was all she had left in her…)
As she hops in the car, she says “Hey Mom? You know how high school is a time for experimentation and risk taking?”
(And…ummm…no. I mean…wait, WHAT?)
And then…she just lets that statement hang there. In the air. While my head spins like a fidget spinner in the hands of a 10 year old. Because…WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT HERE? WHAT RISKS? WHAT EXPERIMENTS?? NO. NO. NO. NONE OF THAT! I SAID HIGH SCHOOL WAS FOR PRAYING AND INTROSPECTION! CHARITABLE WORKS!! HELPING AROUND THE HOUSE!!!
And so…way too many seconds later…I squeaked out a tentative “ummm…Yes?”
“Well…I know that you said you didn’t want me to get acrylic nails, but I’ve been thinking…I mean…I can pay for it myself and – you’re probably right – I probably won’t like it…but I’d like to try it and see for myself.”
And all of the sudden, all of my arguments against acrylic nails? The arguments I’ve been making since she starting asking a year ago? Valid arguments about time and money and whatever else I used to say…? POOF!! Because I don’t even care anymore! Compared to where my head went? Yes. Go get nails. You want to go now? Right now? I’ll drive. Hell…maybe I’ll pay.
Genius. Pure, unequivocal genius.
Know what? I’m going to use that little strategy. Next time I have a request they’re not going to like I’m going to start with “You know how it’s been a long time since I’ve taken your phone away? Yeah? Well…I’m not planning to take it now, either. But I need you to clean your bathroom and fold the laundry.” 😘
(PS – When I write about my kids antics, I let them read it before I publish to make sure they’re ok with what I’ve said. So far, they always have been. The oldest just read it, burst out laughing and said “Oh yeah…I totally planned it that way.” Yep. Of course you did. 😉 )