"Wow! We really screwed things up for ourselves with this whole 'Women's Lib' thing!!" That's what she said. And I took there, slack-jawed in the kitchen, wanting to argue, but not even knowing where to start.
'Cause all I do is win win win.... That's what the song says...and it's been stuck in my head for days. Except...no. That's not all I do. And, from where I'm standing, that's not how life works at all. Come and peruse my Facebook feed, will you? There are some high-achieving children in my world. … Continue reading All I Do Is Win Win Win…. (*except for all the losses)
Are you familiar with Dante's 8th Circle of Hell? I'm pretty sure it's fraud. Also, I think I may have visited it today. So...sometimes, in this life, you receive an email asking you to come in for a job interview. You weigh the pros and cons and you kindly decline...on the grounds that the … Continue reading Surviving Dante’s 8th Circle: A Job Interview Gone Wrong
Dear Pinterest Bake Sale Mom, First things first....I love you. Truly. Madly. Deeply. You are awesome. A few years back, I used to be like some version of you. Not as good...but I was in the running for...something. Maybe Assistant Bake Sale Mom...if I'd played my cards right. And it's not as if I evolved into some … Continue reading Dear Pinterest Bake Sale Mom,
It started like this... I woke up this morning with a hangover. That's what I'm calling it anyway, even though the strongest thing I had to drink last night was seltzer (black cherry, because I believe in living on the edge).
Please note: You may not want to read this. I held off as long as I could...but this is, in fact, about the election. That's the downside. The upside? I'm not here to convince you of anything, and no political views will be expressed. The election is less than 1 week away...does anyone else need … Continue reading The Preacher
Do you remember September? It was so full of sparkle and promise. We had a plan AND a schedule. These lockers in our mudroom? Things used to be hung up in them. Children set their own alarms and got up when they went off. And then, instead of smacking it and climbing back into bed...THEY GOT … Continue reading Please Excuse Me While I Backslide
To my sweet #1, Ah....I had such IDEAS when you were small...I knew ALL THE THINGS. You were enriched within an inch of your life. There were rules and they were consistent. The consequences were logical, and not once did I call you by another name. Your food was homemade and organic...and, when your little … Continue reading Birth Order and Beef Jerky
I need you to know that when I hear you utter words "my child would never", I feel a jolt of terror shoot down my spine. First of all, I admire your confidence. Kudos. That's pretty impressive. I do not have that. Instead, my poor kids are bearing the brunt of my (slightly) wayward youth. … Continue reading The Perfect Child – A Fairytale
This little gem? It's one of a series of Toilet Paper Roll Art that I've been creating in my upstairs kid-bathroom-turned-studio. (You didn't know that was a thing did you? Not to toot my own horn, but I'm pretty sure I've created a new genre.) I'm not sure why the kids can't master the changing of … Continue reading We’re (Not) On A Roll….